2006-I promised myself I would try to keep a journal of some of the things that transpired as the disease process evolved, but there always seemed to be something that got in the way.Â One of my college professors had suggested that I try to write professionally, but I never did.Â I wrote eulogies for some family funerals and spoke at many family occasions where a room full of people would become silent.Â At times, my spoken words were extremely moving and put people into tears. Â As the years progressed, it often seemed that writing was becoming more of a struggle.Â The words that once would flow so easily were now becoming a difficult task.Â It appeared as though my vocabulary retrieval skills were hampered.Â Could it be related to the disease process? Â I had made some written notations over the years but somehow amazingly made more of a mental account of so many noteworthy occasions.Â This disease process has impacted upon me, my family, my extended family and even some of my close friends physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially and financially. Â I have stood strong, persevered, held faith, remained optimistic, and remained hopeful but at other times cried during the deepest, stillest hours of night almost noiselessly with nobody to wipe away those silent tears that streamed down my face and flooded my cheek bones.Â As my body went through such extreme transformations, I often wondered if would make it through the next day.Â I made certain provisions for death, wrote a wish list and told some close friends to make sure they would promise me to introduce my husband to someone exceptional, because I felt a man always needed a wife, and children always needed a mother.Â The time is ripe for me to share what I believeÂ will be a fascinating, incredible yet painstaking journey.Â Come embark on this trip of revelation with me and my multitude of trials and tribulations over the last several years.
Written by Tara Notrica